The Promise

I try to close the door,

I try to forget, 

But there you are mocking me,

“It will never happen,”

“Was it really promised,”

I try to slide that door,

I try to ignore you,

But you scream louder,

“I don’t belong to you,”

“Wasn’t this supposed to be yours,”

I try to smile,

I try plug my ears,

But you laugh as the tears fall,

Beautiful creamy white,

Lace cascading,

Smiles and joy,

Bridal bliss,

Hanging in my closet,

But it doesn’t even belong to me,

It’s mocking me,

Screaming to leave,

Mocking,

Telling me to forget,

But I know what He told me,

I smile...

I hide the tears,

I will rejoice,

I will celebrate,

This may endure for the night,

But joy is coming,

I may weep,

I may hurt,

I may have to wait,

But my God will not be mocked,

I will open the door, 

I will let the dress scream at me,

Because one day my dress will hang there,

I will open the door and smile,

For the promise is coming!

This post isn't easy, because it is very personal. Here I am, 30 and single. If you would have asked me when I was 18, I had so many plans. Married after college, first kid by 25, and last kid by 30. Well, that didn't really go as planned. I have been in too many weddings to count. I have planned weddings, attended weddings, and have done brides hair. Each time, I can honestly say, I enjoyed it. I did not have a bitter spirit or begrudge them. I celebrated with them, loved on them, and held their dress as they used the restroom! I think so many people expect me to be bitter and discontent. Do I want to be married? DUH! Do I want my friends to stay single and wait with me? No! That would be ridiculous! One thing I do want is for people to see that being a single woman does not define me. My life doesn't start when I get married. My ministry isn't waiting for Mr. Right. I am a woman of God. I am being used for my Father's purpose. I enjoy winning souls and teaching my students. I am Courtney Mary Thaler, and I like that! One day, when I meet the right man, I will join him and continue to do the Lord's work. I will be his helpmate. But as of right now, I am enjoying my season. 

Tell me your thoughts :)